The Great Smarties Conspiracy

Not long ago, I was browsing a blog that happened to have a post celebrating "Canada Day", and Smarties appeared on the "Things that are Canadian" list. At first, I thought that was mildly interesting--I hadn't known that Smarties were Canadian. And then the photograph intriqued me even more...Smarties don't come in BOXES in the United States! Even the writing was different!

You see it coming, don't you?

They WEREN'T Smarties.

Closer inspection revealed that these candies were brightly colored and kind of pill-shaped. NOTHING like Smarties.

I inquired.

Just as calmly as you please, that other blogger informed me that those Smarties had been around "forever", and that they were...are you ready for this?

Chocolate.

I wasn't falling for that. Smarties are most definitely not chocolate. They're really GOOD for not being chocolate--quite possibly the most coveted non-chocolate Halloween candy--but Decidedly Not Chocolate.

I investigated further. And I found this: Smarties vs. M-n-Ms

They look just like M-n-Ms, except without the "m"s. They look a little like Skittles. They do not, in any way, shape or form, resemble SMARTIES, however.

These, of course, are the real Smarties*: Smarties

You'll notice that they're disc shaped and concave on both sides. You'll also notice that they're pastel colors, not brightly colored like poster paints. Or Skittles. Or M-n-Ms. You'll also notice that they're...um...NOT CHOCOLATE!

*"Real" in this context shall be construed to mean "the Smarties that Tiffany has eaten all of her life and is comfortable with".

I just got a comment about something called "Rockets", but I'm not going to look. Everyone knows that a "Rocket" is a popsicle, and I'm absolutely firm on that.